3 Quick Questions Before You React

Written By Rdap Dan

Questions to ask yourself – Federal Prison

As a prison consultant, one of my roles is coaching my clients to break free from the thinking that got them into trouble. Misperceptions cause a lot of unneeded conflict and turmoil, so today I want to give you a quick tool you can use to help you break free from stress perception reactions.

When you’re immersed in a stressful situation, it’s easy to experience everything through the lens of stress perception. When stress perception takes over, almost everything offends you and it seems like people are against you by default. You become defensive and argumentative, and it seems like things go from bad to worse.

When you feel yourself reacting from a place of stress perception, it’s important to separate reality from fiction. The following 3 questions can help you with that…

  1. What just happened?
  2. What is the message I get from that?
  3. What is true?

Let’s look at how this plays out when put into action. Say someone accidentally spilled something on you and you’re angry about it. You didn’t know the guy, and he didn’t give you any reason to think he meant to do it, but he also didn’t apologize. You feel stepped on, like he thinks you are nothing. Now, let’s apply the 3 questions.

What just happened?

Answer: Some guy spilled coffee all over my shirt and didn’t apologize.

What is the message I get from that?

Answer: He disrespected me because he thinks I’m not as good as he is.

What’s true?

Answer: Someone spilled something on me. He didn’t apologize. There are a lot of reasons he might not have said he was sorry. Maybe he meant to do it, or maybe he was embarrassed and didn’t know how I’d react if he said he was sorry. Either way, his opinion doesn’t determine my worth.

As you break the situation apart, make sure you only enter what is indisputably true for number 3. Keep number 3’s answer totally objective.

Always look closely at your answer to the second question; that’s usually where you’ll find the key to what’s triggering you. Look for a difference in what you perceive (2) and what is true (3). If you learn to put this little exercise to good use, you’ll fly off the handle a lot less, cause less damage to relationships you value and get into less trouble.

The RDAP Dan team believes in the power of mindset. If you’re facing a Federal Prison term, your mindset can make all the difference in whether you come out on top, or torn to shreds. As a prison consultant, I can help you create a strategy to arrive at the best possible outcome for your unique situation, and that includes changing the thinking that got you in this place to begin with. Give me a call today at 866-208-8997, and let’s talk about how you can reclaim your power in this situation.

Dan Wise prison consultant

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